Sunem

She was the 10th cousin, and the 6th girl in our generation.  Eldest child of our youngest Uncle - so much younger than us we did not really know her in her early childhood.  Later in her teens -  a rebel – sassy and direct – questioning authority and determinedly going about her life making the best of things in her way.   In her later years the most devoted daughter, sister and aunt – As soon as she made any money of her own she flooded the family home with gifts – treasures she knew would bring joy to all, lifting them all out of the ordinary , dullness of every day when life was a struggle and luxuries unknown.  I remember velveteen counterpanes for every bed, lace trimmings for the windows, the very first DVD player any of us had ever seen, and the monumental hi-fi system that still sits in prime position on the table in her nephews’ and great-Uncle’s room.  Her generosity of spirit lives on in all our memories.  Then in her latter days when pain and illness forced her back home without a job, I remember a person of inspirational courage and fortitude. It is with tremendous sadness I bid her farewell.

Sunem – you went too young.  So much of life unexperienced – so many dreams in this world cut short.

Oh - Kolkata!

We flew into Kolkata in the early hours of the morning of the 24th September 2013.  I experienced the familiar lump in the throat and punch in the gut as we circled around the endless patchwork of fields, tiny clusters of houses, and ribbons of roads and irrigation canals. It all looked so pristine from 15,000 feet in the air.

 

However, when we landed, as we careered down the runway,  the very bumpy ride confirmed we were back in the Kolkata I remembered – There were very large potholes in the runway that one cannot avoid in a very large Boeing jet.......

 

And it was at that point that I decided it was time to do some thinking and journaling about the reactions and emotions I experience at every Indian home-coming.

 

Over the years as we’ve travelled between Singapore and Kolkata or Bangkok and Kolkata, I’ve often felt high levels of indignation followed by sad resignation.  This is around my perception that persons travelling to Kolkata seem to be considered the lowest of the low in international travelling circuits, and this is confirmed for me by two things:

1.    The waiting rooms for the Kolkata flights in both airports are the furthest away from the shops and lights. They are found at the tail end of the airports in dingy downstairs halls where the lights are dimmed  (maybe to curtail any untoward excitement??) , and

2.    The airports put their most strident air personnel on duty in these waiting rooms, and these personnel regularly make loud, patronizing announcements over the audio system about not rushing forward to board the plane, sitting down until called, making orderly lines etc. etc. (All very reminiscent of “Naughty Corners” of nanny fame.)

 

Fortunately, by and large, my Bengali brethren do not seem aware of this slight and carry on, as usual, without the great chip on the shoulder that I seem to develop every time....To add injury to insult they are so indifferent to this treatment that they often appear to perpetuate the state of affairs by :

·         not listening to the strident air staff,

·         talking volubly and loudly with great arm gesticulations that could be misconstrued as threatening gestures,

·         botching up the orderly line and

·         generally not obeying instructions!!

 

Over the years, I have reflected that lines and orderly queues are all very well when you are confident that you will eventually get to the front of the line and your prize will be waiting for you – But what happens when long years of experience tell you that you will not be heard unless you shout, and you won’t get any kerosene or gas for your stove or sugar, proper meat or vegetables for your table, unless you propel yourself forward to the front of the line??  These habits die hard, and in the clinically clean, orderly environment of these International airports one sees the clash of different world experiences most poignantly......

 

Scotland - an unusual home-coming

Scotland - an unusual homecoming

Well we have just experienced the most wonderful stay with aunts morag and uncle Biren.  We stepped into yesteryear where the simplicity of life in the mountains of kalimpong has been transported into a 100 year old home on House o'hill Terrace in Edinburgh. Their home has expansive rooms- high ceilings with magnificent plaster mouldings painted white against Wedgwood green.  However the grandeur stops there. Uncle and Aunty's simplicity and purity of life makes it into a haven of making the most of things and using everything in these current times of throw away expediency.  Nothing is wasted or thrown away - the garden is lush with plants which  thrive on continuous compost.  Uncle Biren cuts the tiny lawn with a Nepali sickle by hand.  The sickle was given to him by his mother. my grandmother. I spotted  the patch of green in the distance and it looks like a piece of emerald velvet.  Old things are valued, used and re-used as they would be in kalimpong. Papers, plastic, cloths - are cleaned and find a use. Newness is respected  and not overdone! Every apple from the tree in the garden has been saved and stored around the home on available flat surfaces.  They are small red and sour apples- good for cooking.  The process of storing them like this allows them to wither and thus be used throughout the winter months.  However, no expense is spared when it comes to visitors - we were cared for better than royalty - and we will never forget it.

We were fed a beautiful and very hearty curry, Dahl  and rice meal on arrival and in the evening another delicious roast dinner! Aunty Morag is a wonderful Nepali housewife- albeit nearly 6 feet tall and red haired!! it was fascinating to see especially her mother -in-law, (my nepali grandmother)'s influence and mark in this place so distant both in miles and in years. 

We talked and caught up with family news.  They are attentive and very engaged listeners.  They pray for every member of the family ( including our own burgeoning numbers) by name. They say this brings each person to mind and keeps the ties fresh.  On some days this can take them up to 2 hours....It is both deeply touching and  humbling to know you are prayed for daily by two devout 78 year olds. ...

W also had a very brief but lovely visit with my cousin Tembu, his wife Helen and his 6 year old Jayden and little 3 year old twins Jem and &Kiran.  Tembu  is pastoring 3 churches - Episcopal Scottish churches. He wears the robes, but in many other ways is the type of pastor we are familiar with in the Baptist tradition in Australia.  The boys are lovely little fellows and we could have spent hours there.  Hopefully there will be other times soon.

As always, it was a real wrench to leave these beloved people. I came away thinking if we can get to 47 years of marriage with the gratitude, profound respect,peace, understanding and love that Uncle and Aunty have with each other- life will have been truly well-lived.

London to York

london 

4 days and nights in what must be one of the most liveable cities in the world. We turned up to 22 College Cross street in Islington in the late afternoon.  In the street there is a row of double storied homes and our destination was the only one in the street with a butter yellow door...This was the introduction to my cousin Leom and her husband Bill's quaint, lovely and thoroughly unique house . It was built in the 1860s. The tiny winding staircases the width of one person, the little back courtyard filled with fragrant herbs, creepers and small trees, and the small rooms created to make the maximum use of space make up this wonderful home.  Leom, Bill and My- Ell welcomed us in with wonderful gourmet meals - warm comfortable beds - endless cups of tea, stories, laughter and hospitality.  How can one not love a place where such love resides?

Leom has stamped the home with her own unique version of style, colour and individuality.  A retro gold centred black rimmed lampshade in the master bedroom jostles with an antique sofa and a quaint blue hen inhabits the tiny courtyard garden.  I so appreciated the splashes of exuberant colour through out the home - starting with  Leom's  own tresses of emerald green!

We boarded the sight-seeing bus and tramped the streets of London - seeing such wonders as Westminster Abbey, the Tower bridge, Buckingham palace  and Picadilly Circus.  We spent time in Trafalgar Square and a delightul time in St Martin  in the Field's church-  most particularly in the huge crypt where there is a lovely cafe....On Sunday we joined the faithful at evensong at St. Paul's cathedral....and I realised that while the form of the service, the surroundings and the sheer history may be magnificent, it can never replace the warmth, depth and sheer relevance  of a Canberra Baptist service!

Stratford  on Avon was a real delight - beautiful and so well preserved.  Ancient houses are incorporated into modern living spaces and everywhere there is the echo of the Bard's  words.  It was the place where Shakespeare was born and spent his formative years.  We watched "As you like it" Performed by the Royal Shakespeare Company. All the seats are in a horseshoe fashion around the stage.  Ours were  slightly below the stage and about 4 rows deep.  The costumes were modern, the words 15th century, and our sense of being literally inside the story was amazing.  the acting (as you might imagine) was magnificent, and even where the words could have been lost in time, the modern, clever interpretation made it so easy to follow it all.  Rosalind and Orlando in particular were fantastically portrayed.  We met up with Joyce Wainwright - a jolly English teacher from our youth in school in Darjeeling and took her with us to the show.  Her sheer exuberance about everything added a real buzz to everything.  Although she lives a car's ride away, she had not seen a Shakespeare play in this setting or in modern costuming.

From there we moved on to York - another wonderful city steeped in history.  The peopleare very warm and welcoming - everyone we met and talked to (and there were many) seemed to have the same droll and warm sense of humour.  We visited a couple of very interesting museums on the early Viking settlement of York and stumbled upon a food festival in the city which was most enjoyable. Especially the local pork produce and of all things - pani puris (the tiny crisp puffed rotis of India)  stuffed with potato and mint  curry and washed down with pepper and tamarind water. ...On an aside - we have eaten some exceptional Indian meals here in Britain.   Our final dinner on York was in a Pakistani Restaurant called Saffron. Of greatest note were some of the best chapatis ( unleavened wholemeal indian bread) we've ever had. They were large, soft and delicious.  In fact it was the breads at this dining place that were so outstanding.  We watched other diners who had ordered nan roti ( soft white Indian bread). We watched some novices in the restaurant and it was very entertaining to watch their reactions when their food was served...The nan rotis came in suspended from large metal hooks on individual stands in huge fragrant and soft flattened dew drops.  Where there were multiple servings (for the aforementioned local football team), their nans had to be wheeled in on a food trolley!

And did I mention Paris?

Well we've just about done it all  in 2 amazing days......

* Did an evening river cruise down the Seine - past all the amazing monuments of Paris - Notre Dame, the Eiffel Tower, the Arc de Triomphe to names a few....followed by a 3 course French meal cooked to perfection....followed by a night drive to see the night lights of Paris - ending with the sparkling lights of the Eiffel Tower.

* Went to the Palace at Versailles - a massive monument to the unbelievable excesses of the courts of France in the 17th century before the revolution. 

* Went up the Eiffel Tower and viewed the spectacular scenes of one of the greatest living cities in the world.

* Walked down the Champs Élysées  along wide cobbled boulevards past designer shops and surprisingly reasonably priced baguette sandwich shops.

*  Ended the day with a dinner and show at the Moulin Rouge!! One of the most spectacular shows we've ever seen.  Unbelievable costumes, backdrops, music, dance and very beautiful people - mostly quite scantily dressed!  Never before have I so appreciated the marvellous role of feathers in women's costumery!!

My impressions  - Paris is a city very comfortable with itself.   Every one at first  glance appears supremely confident with themselves. It became quickly possible to spot the local Parisienne women from their distinctive style.......scarves and boots were everywhere .  Even cycling along the streets women could be seen in stilettos! 

Throughout the trip we've been saved hours of standing in lines - it's been amazing to be able to bypass hundreds of people simply because we've prepaid through the tour.   Any day I would recommend travelling with a tour group like Trafalgar as the best way to get the most ot of a lightening trip through unfamiliar territories...and no - I'm not being paid to advertise them....

A surprising bonus of the trip was how quickly we became Close to our 47 travelling companions. They hailed from Singapore to Texas,  Wagga Wagga to Toronto.  We celebrated 2 birthdays on one day- one turned 81 and the other 19...we had bankers, builders , pilots and factory workers....but we were all united in the adventure best introduced by willie nelson's classic " On the road again"..... This was our theme song played to us every morning on the bus while we sat still bleary eyed from the previous day's excesses- and while it made us both groan and smile - there was a real element of truth in it's sentiments...      "Going places i have never seen - Seeing things that I may never see again - and I can't wait to get on the road again..."

That brings me to our wonderful tour Director Graham Smith and  Driver Marcello.  Lovely men - very skilled at their jobs. Graham hails from NZ but now lives in London.  Is passionate about history - very suave, funny, skilled, handsome, engaging - so a lot of fun to be with on the tour.  Marcello is a lovely gentle man from Rome - an unbelievably skilled driver...we really almost glided around Europe- his driving was smooth and so comfortably paced- even though the places he got our massive coach in and out of were at times hair-raising.  At every stop (of which there were many) each of these men would stand at the doors of the bus and give everyone a hand down....a lot to  be said for these gentle courtesies.  

Further along the road

Three days have sped by - along with visits to the Sistine  Chapel, Florence and Lucerne.

I need to mention how moved I was by the Sistine chapel in the Vatican museum on our last morning in Rome  I could have lain on the floor for a day.....but had to make do with half an hour with hundreds of others shuffling through the marble halls of history....I have brought 2 posters that will hopefully give me time to really examine the brilliant work of Michelangelo - the Pieta and the Sistine Chapel ceiling.

Florence was an interesting city - but without the buzz and excitement of Rome.  It is the heartland of the Renaissance - Leonardo da Vinci in particular.  It is a beautiful city - overlooked by a full sized copy of Michelangelo's  "David" statue.   We walked by the Arno River and wandered the cobbled streets. It is a city of artisans - jewellers, leather workers and beautiful scarves.....however , even here one can see the struggle some people have to make a living.  it was really surprising  in Italy to see the numbers of Indian and African  hawkers  selling cheap trinkets to tourists...

The next two days were spent in Lucerne - Switzerland.  A place of pristine beauty and universal efficiency and accuracy.  It was also the most expensive of our destinations .  Went on three forms of transport and up and down the beautiful steep Mount Pilatus - cog rail (allegedly the steepest in the world), a cable car and finally little gondolas.  We were literally in the clouds at 7000 feet with snow and ice, but unbelievable views straight down on the city and farming surrounds.  We were at the same altitude as Darjeeling, but there we are surrounded by so many mountains we do not get the clear views that you do in Switzerland.  The magnificent peaks plunge down in sheer splendour to near sea level. 

 The mountains are carpeted in green wherever there are no pine trees and buildings - beautiful short  green grass that must be kept mown as they utilise the grass for silage. Cute little cottages of chocolate coloured wood with brilliantly coloured shutters and vibrant window boxes of pink, red and orange geraniums dot the hills and valleys..... Even their cows are neat and picturesque - with cute faces and long eyelashes, and fur the colour of cafe latte......

One point to note though - Even here in this closely controlled country of snow and cowbells we discovered a caravan complete with an indian serving Hot vegetarian samosas!

In love with Rome

Well - I'm in love with Rome!  Two days of life - colour- history- warmth- laughter- food-chaos- comraderie and so many many forms of love and life...in stone, paint and people - and I'm hooked !

We started early to the ruins of Ostea - the port of Ancient Rome.  A perfect , eerily modern city....nearly 2000 years old. Our guide was a local lady called Ziggy - feisty and fun.

Cobbled streets,  a theatre, tiny town houses of two floors, an eating house complete with marble counter top and courtyard for guests. A millers shop with several ancient grain mills and different places of worship. Tiny pizza like ovens, a very communal toilet made of marble with holes along the top and a constant drainage system leading to a sewage system out of the town!  it is believed even business was conducted here! People  did not appear to have the prudishness we have developed in modern times.  Built above the sewage system is an aqueduct bringing clean water to the town.  The ruins are layered- one can see other lifetimes existed when the town was much lower, and the river course ran totally differently.  As we walked around among the beautiful umbrella pines I could almost hear the sounds of life back then....

We then joined thousands and thousands of people in St Peter's Square to hear Pope F rancis give his Sunday message to the people. He appeared for 15 minutes at a tiny window draped in a tiny red carpet.  His message was relayed on huge screens in the square where we stood shoulder to shoulder- priest and num, young and old, from every country, sick and healthy, believers and sceptics....There was a reverent silence- quite stunning given that we stood in 42 degree heat in the sun!!  - And cheering when he waved to us all.  We then went into St. Peter's church ( basilica)  - quite simply breath-taking. The art work- starting with Michaelangelo's Pieta - is riveting.  It houses some of the greatest art work in the world, and was totally free of any entry fees .  I think that was what surprised me most- it wasn't a place housing a dead past - or even a place exploiting tourism - it was a place alive with curiosity, interest, attention, petition and reverence. ..And people flooded there in hoards . ...Church services were being held in various alcoves, and one could join the faithful at any time.  At one time I found myself saying the Lord's Prayer with hundreds of strangers - feeling totally at home. The art work depicted Jesus full of vibrancy and life- movement, sensuality and energy- not the rigid stylised form of earlier centuries before the Renaissance.  there was such a sense of recognition in the amazing mosaics- jesus's baptism- saving the woman caught in adultery, the sleeping disciples. ...in all the artwork and sculptures i sensed a love for the human body that just drew me in.  There was no careful distancing such as we commonly experience with our ideas of personal space and privacy...my Vatican experience certainly was a wonderful surprise!

by the way I now understand the significance of the little mosaic broach you gave me Danny and Ayesha!  It is a tiny symbol of all the art work in St.peter's basilica done in this amazing tiny mosaic that makes all the art work so accessible to millions of tourists each year......

From here we went to the  Colosseum along with a large section of the population of italy and it is more awe- inspiring than I had ever imagined.....huge corridors and walls- all in the perfect symmetry of the times. I got separated from the group and did nearly three laps of the place before I got out- for those of you interested- I discovered I can still run pretty fast and clocked over 20,000 steps on my fitbit!!!!

The day ended with a rollicking roman feast - complete with limitless wine, a 4 course meal, live music in the form of a flute professor and a talented guitarist, and a cheeky Italian waiter who stole kisses from all the women (and Sherab who is still recovering!) and gave us all long stemmed rosés at the end of the evening.